Today has been a hard day for me.
The day itself was pretty relaxed, but something happened that just put me in an angry, anxious, and depressed all-at-once funk.
I've felt like I may be irrational to get so worked up over something that in the long run is not a big deal. But I found what happened to be troubling and hurtful, and sometimes you can't help how it makes you feel.
But you can choose how you react to it.
First, I secluded myself for a while, and was very short when talking to people. My mind focused on this one thing and I lay in my bed stewing about it, until I got a little bit of passive-aggressive social media revenge. But I know, revenge is not right. Everyone can't go around getting revenge. My revenge probably went unnoticed. I later removed it.
This sickly feeling in my stomach and the urge to beat the tar out of something latched onto me like the flu. I let myself get angry, and sad, and cry. I didn't feel like cheering myself up, but I didn't want to be a Grumpy Gus all day. So I tried a few things to try and make myself feel better.
This is my list. I thought I'd share. :)
To-Dos for the Blues
[[Take care of yourself when you're down]]
1. Spend some time with God. I'm aware that most likely, everyone reading this is not a Christian, or even believes in God. But I must tell you, He is my go-to, and the One who helps soothe my soul when the world is cruel. I try to spend some time in prayer, venting, praising, and just talking it out. I tried to have some quiet time to let His spirit give me peace, and I will tell you, it is a hard thing to do. It's hard for me to be quiet and still and focus for long, and my mind wanders easily. Especially when I'm emotional and consumed with my own problems. But after reading my bible, a few of my old journal entries, and one of my current favourite books, it kept dawning on me that Jesus was hurt so much deeper than I. And not only that, but He would never hurt me the way this person had.
2. Get active. I think everyone knows that exercise is a good stress reliever. You can put that pent up negative energy into something that will positively affect your body, and I think that's wonderful! I was so mad and restless, I felt like hitting the pavement and going running. But another part of me was lazy and didn't want to. So I used my weighted exercise hula hoop [Which has been working wonders for my mom and I in the stomach area!]. It probably sounds hilarious. Someone angry hula hooping is a hilarious visual. But it was kind of soothing. Yoga is commonly used to calm nerves, but I was much to restless for that. I hula hooped, did a few push-ups, and a plank. You may want to walk, run, dance, kickbox, or grab some weights. Find what works for you, but don't push yourself too hard in rage.
3. Vent. Write it out, talk it out, sing it out, scream it out. Write down your problems and everything you're feeling. Keep it in your journal, or destroy it once you've finished- burn it or throw it away. Or if you're distressed because of a particular person, write them a letter. Take your time to really write out honestly but carefully what has you upset, and describe your feelings. It's up to you whether to send it or not. If that's not your style, talk to a friend or one of your parents. Or talk to your self [don't feel crazy, let yourself vent]. Or as I mentioned before, talk to God. One time I even filmed myself venting about something that was messing me up. It helped!
4. Drive. This is not a good idea for all, because this might result in road rage or distracted driving. But for some people, they really need a good drive to clear their head. I found that driving [and singing really loudly ;)] really helped me put my attention elsewhere. It can be rather soothing. It might be best to find some little-used country roads for cruising. Getting stuck on a high-traffic highway might put you more on edge.
5. Destroy something. When I get that emotional, I have the overwhelming impulse to do something a little crazy. However, actions taken in a moment like that can end up being harmful to you or someone else, or you can end doing some just plain stupid. But you have to get that anger out somehow! My suggestion: Find a safe place and something that will not be missed [Buy something cheap and beat up from a thrift store if you have to], and destroy it - by throwing it, hitting it with a baseball bat, tearing it apart, or burning it.
6. Find new perspective. Like I mentioned earlier, thinking about Jesus in comparison to myself helped me feel better about my problems. So much of our life depends on our attitudes and our reactions. They can hard to control, but sometimes you've got to reign them in and change your outlook. While I think experiencing emotions like anger can be very helpful in getting over them, dwelling on them for too long can breed negative thoughts in your mind. When you're thinking and feeling negative, that not only affects you, but your entire world, and the people around you! And honestly- not many people like being around negative people.
One of the things I did today was make a short list of things that I am thankful for. I have friends that do this when they're angry or upset, and it really helps transform their mood! It didn't magically fix mine, but it did help me smile and think more positively. I really was not in the mood to make such a list, but I grudgingly grabbed a journal and pen. Once you start making the list, it can be hard to stop, because you start thinking of every little thing that you have to be grateful for! I think not only does it make you feel happier, but it makes God happy to see your thankfulness despite your circumstances. :)
7. Confront. Matthew 18:15-17 is what Jesus has to say about dealing with a brother sinning against you. Jesus wants us to be able to confront each other and talk out our problems. I'll admit, I am pretty terrible about this. With certain people it's not so hard, but usually it's easier to for me to lash out passive-aggressively against that person while my frustration builds, eventually ending in us having a huge argument that finally reveals the truth. I'm not great at confrontation, and I don't like being called out, so sometimes it's hard for me to call others out. Depending on the seriousness of the offense, I usually just try to let it go and do my duty to forgive, instead of stirring things up. That takes a lot of time and discipline, however. Sometimes when you talk it out however, forgiveness comes much easier, because you often find that what you assumed about the other person's motives is not always true. And even if what you assume is true, you can get the closure you need through telling them your grief, and [sometimes] receiving an apology.
I hope that you found something in this post helpful, and if not, I am truly sorry! I try my best to be a good listener and offer advice if needed, so feel free to share any grievances. And of course, if you have any solutions for working through difficult emotions like anger or depression, please feel free to share!
-Harp
